Kissogram
by Sam Le Faie
Summary: Take one adult Halloween party, and put in one policewoman one mad scientist and then just let the sparks fly. Erza x Jellal.
1. Kiss 1

Kissogram: A message delivered with a kiss, usually presented by someone in cosplay.

For the sake of this fic, the term shall be interpreted as referring to the person. I came up with this idea after re-watching (again) Doctor Who. Since Amy is a redhead, this story will not be my usual NaLu, but rather, focused on a certain sassy redhead. Yes, I know a Halloween themed fic is late, but… Meh

Enjoy and don't forget to leave your love afterwards.

Faie.

* * *

Kiss 1

Erza leaned back into the smooth leather backrest of her armchair and rested her chin on a fist. Her long legs crossed, and the slit of her black pencil skirt split apart to reveal the thin black belt of her garter. She twiddled a pencil between her fingers, her brows arching in surprise as she listened to the voice on the speaker.

"8pm? Why is it starting so late?"

"How is 8 considered late? Besides, the night is when everything starts getting fun."

"You do know that unlike some people, I have to work on weekdays. And yet, you still chose to organize your party on a Thursday night."

"Aww, c'mon Erza! Let up once in a while."

"Lucy-"

"I'm not taking no for an answer. You are coming to my Halloween party and that's final."

"… I don't have a say in this, do I?"

"Nope." The blonde snickered evilly, though she tried (and failed) to muffle it.

Erza sighed heavily and tapped the pencil against the glass top of her desk. "Why do you always drag me into things like this?"

"Because you're boring, and you haven't an iota of something people call a social life. Tell me, Erza. When was the last time you got laid?"

The redhead sputtered and sat up quickly in her seat. "Wh-! Th-that's none of your business, Lucy. And it wasn't even that long ago! There was that brunette-"

"What brunette?"

"Y'now… The one with the green eyes and the plaid shirt…"

Lucy gritted her teeth on the other side of the conversation. "Erza! That was seven months ago! Don't tell me you haven't met anyone new since then."

Erza groaned. "I can't help being busy all the time. This business isn't going to run itself."

She could almost hear the blonde rolling her eyes. "You aren't the CEO for nothing. You have hundreds of people slaving under you. Can't you just take some time off for yourself once in a while?"

"The brunette-"

"Seven. Months. Ago. You would have so much more free time if you'd just stop being so paranoid. Don't focus on the minor things that others can easily handle. Isn't that what my fiancé and the other guys there at Fairy Tail are meant to do? Listen and obey your every whim and wish?"

"Well, yes… Speaking of which, I didn't see Natsu in his office today. Is he sick today?"

"Sick? What do y-"

Lucy suddenly gasped and whipped her head away from the phone. Erza winced when the blonde's voice suddenly shot up nearly a hundred decibels.

"NATSU, YOU BUM! YOU TOLD ME ERZA GAVE YOU AN OFF – DAY TODAY!"

There was a smacking sound followed by a muffled male groan. "Luce, stop yelling… My head hurts enough as it is."

"You hung over idiot! I told you to- Gaaah! I'll deal with you later mister!"

Lucy gave an embarrassed cough before returning to the phone. "Sorry you had to hear that, Erza."

The redhead chuckled understandingly. "That's fine. I'll just take you up on your advice and delegate the miscellaneous duties to Natsu once he returns next Monday."

"Hmph. Go ahead. That idiot deserves it. I've told him a million times not to go drinking with Gray on a weekday night."

Erza laughed against the back of her hand. She hadn't seen Gray yet either. Maybe it was time to ring up a certain blunette.

"In any case, Erza. I expect to see you next Thursday anytime after 7:30pm. Costumes are mandatory. Feel free to come as nude as you want-"

"Lu-!"

"But have the decency to cover up the important parts." The blonde laughed again. "There will food, booze, and enough chaos to tear the roof down the house. Who knows, you might even meet someone. Natsu has invited a lot of his friends from his university fraternity."

"I should have known you were trying to set me up…"

"You need m-"

"Yeah yeah. I need men in my life." Erza sighed in exasperation. "I'll be there."

"Fantastic. Now, are you bringing someone?"

"Wasn't I _going_ there to meet someone?"

"Touché. See you, Erza! Wear something sexy!"

* * *

She had worn something sexy. Or at least, she hoped that it was sexy.

Erza tugged down the hem of her very short, very tight skirt again as she stepped up to the porch of the semi-detached house that was the Dragneel – Heartfilia abode.

The sky had already blackened into night but the street was anything but dark. Sitting along the pavements and walls of the houses were rows upon rows of pumpkins carved into freakish faces of all kinds, and lit from within using small candle cups. Strips of black cloth hung from windows and steel gates and flapped in the cool night wind. All the windows in the house were brightly lit and the redhead could clearly hear music booming from within, coupled with cheerful voices and drunken hollering.

She stood there on the curb, wondering if she should press the doorbell, but finally deciding against it. No one would hear it anyway. The redhead turned the knob and walked into the antechamber of the house.

Instantly, her senses were assailed with the bitter aroma of alcohol and the flashing lights as people waved light sticks and cameras flashed. A sudden urge to leave came over her and the woman backed away again only to gasp when someone suddenly grabbed her arm.

"Erza! You're here! Lucy was wondering when you'd arrive."

"O-oh. Hi, Levy."

The small blunette was grinning up at her in an angel costume, consisting of a white and gold rimmed tunic, furry wings and a plastic halo. "You just got here?"

"Yeah… Where's Lucy and Natsu? I want to say hi to them first."

"Uh… I'm not sure where Natsu is, but the last time I saw Lu – chan she was in the living room talking to the girls."

"Thanks, Levy."

"No probs." The blunette wandered off, a glass of sparkling liquid in her hand.

Erza jostled past the crowds that were pooling in the hallway and found Lucy by the fireplace, in an animated discussion with Juvia and the Strauss sisters.

Lucy was Cleopatra in a black strapless dress that hung till mid thigh, gauze drapes on her arms and gold-plated head and belt pieces. Juvia had come as a siren, in a tube top of shimmery silk, faux seaweed twisted through her blue hair and a scale patterned floor length skirt that glued itself to her slender legs. The Strauss sisters were cosplaying as the evil Stepsisters, in mildly gothic makeup, form fitting dresses with low cut bodices and costume jewelry. The blonde leaped from her seat the moment the redhead walked into view.

"Erza! You made it! I was wondering if you had decided to bail on me."

"I promised to come, so here I am." The redhead smoothened down her outfit and turned on the spot. "What do you guys think?"

"Juvia likes it. It shows up Erza – san's figure very nicely. Especially that skirt, yum." The blunette nodded approvingly.

Lucy walked around the redhead, eyeing her up and down. "A sexy police officer? Suits your character, Erza. What's this name tag on your blouse…?"

The blonde's eyes widened and she looked up at the redhead, grinning naughtily. "Officer Kissogram, Erza? My my…"

The redhead sucked in her cheeks. "I stole the idea from a Tv show."

"What's a kissogram?" Lisanna asked curiously.

"It means we're going to have a rather interesting party tonight." Her sister giggled, biting into a pig in the blanket. The blonde and the blunette latched themselves onto the redhead and tugged her down onto the couch between them. Lucy pushed a nearly full glass of champagne into Erza's hand and smirked.

"So… Have you found your first target?"

"Huh?"

"Since Erza – san's dressed the part, she might as well play the part too! Juvia saw a handsome vampire by the kitchen."

"Eeew, no! His cape is gaudy. I'll introduce you to the right men. Now, the handsome ones here tonight are the werewolves, mad scientists and um… I remember seeing one rather sexy Al Capone. Take your pick."

"Don't go for the zombie in the red shirt. Juvia thinks his breath smells really, really bad."

"Uh, I…"

"How about the Zorro?"

"Which Zorro? There are three Zorros here tonight, Mira – nee."

"The one with the painted on shirt." The girls instantly burst into tipsy laughter.

The silver – haired beauty giggled and shrugged. "What? He has very nice abs."

"Who has very nice abs? Yo, Erza. You're late." A male voice from rang out behind them.

"Hey sweetheart. You guys having fun?" Cleopatra smiled up at her Marc Antony, who was in a red shirt, metal chest plates and a knee length tunic.

"You bet. You planned an awesome party, Luce. Remind me to reward you after everything's over."

Natsu leaned down and pressed his lips to hers, cupping the back of her head with a hand. The blonde giggled against his mouth and caressed his cheek as she stood up and pressed her body to his, her other hand tangling itself in his messy hair. Juvia imitated a gagging action, to which her audience snickered.

"Oh don't be childish. You guys do far worse in public."

The blonde spoke against his lips before resuming the kiss, only to suddenly cring. The blonde moved away from Natsu and withdrew her hand from his hair.

"Why do you have grass in your hair?"

The male laughed, embarrassed. "Yeah, about that. Long story…"

Lucy rolled her eyes and looped her arms around the policewoman's. Erza's eyes widened as the blonde grinned up at her, her breath sweet from far too much fruit wine.

"Now. Let's find you some fun, Erza!"

Before his fiancée could lead their friend away, Natsu grabbed her arm. "Luce, wait."

"What is it? I'm busy."

Erza's chest heaved in relief at the postponement of her doom but the feeling was interrupted the moment she heard the next words that left the male's mouth.

"You're looking to match Erza up, right? I have someone right here."

* * *

"God damn it. This stupid shirt is itchy." Gray Fullbuster scratched at his bare chest, groaning aloud in annoyance.

"What shirt? You scrapped your shirt hours ago." The pink haired Roman replied snarkily, tugging self-consciously at the leather waist flaps.

"Who'd you call stupid, you charcoal brained fo- Wait... When the hell did that happen?! Craaaaap! Juvia is going to kill me if I lose part of the costume."

The trio of males rolled their eyes in unison as they watched their friend freak out and dash away to look for his missing pirate shirt, his boots pounding across the grassy lawn. Natsu cursed when the male nearly bumped into a scarecrow.

"Icicle head, don't knock over any of the decorations! Lucy will go crazy!"

"How can Gray call himself a Man if he loses his own clothing so easily? He needs more training. " The silver haired werewolf muttered as he propped his legs up onto the now vacated chair that Gray had left behind.

"Doesn't matter. He'll never learn."

The third male sighed as he leaned against the picket fence. The male slid one hand into the pocket of his white lab coat and chugged down the rest of the beer before flinging the empty can into the trash bag hanging from the lawn chairs.

He dug his hand through his messy blue hair, and readjusted the non-prescription glasses he had on. A sudden movement to his left caught his attention, and he turned to greet his guest only to be smacked hard on his back. The male sputtered and turned his head up to glare angrily at the culprits.

Two women were standing there grinning at him. One had straight black hair and brown eyes, dressed as the Red Queen in a red and black checkered Elizabethan dress, and the other with wavy pink hair and dressed as the White counterpart in a cream and ivory gown.

"Hey, Jellal. Have you been hiding out here this whole time? No wonder we haven't see you all evening."

"You didn't have to hit me so hard, Ul."

"Can't help it. You make a good punching bag."

The male groaned and rubbed his sore back. "Damn you."

She shrugged, grinning. "So, what are you supposed to be? An over worked doctor?"

"I'm a mad scientist, idiot. Can't you see the stains on the coat and my messy hairstyle?"

The brunette scoffed. "Your hair is always messy."

"Hey! Whatever. You guys here by yourselves?"

"Of course. The whole point of Halloween parties is to pick up sexy strangers. What's the point if we bring dates?"

"Speaking of which, Ul. Here they come. See ya, Jellal!"

"Huh? You two are leaving already?"

Meredy nodded as she pointed over where a vampire and a Green Lantern were waiting by the street.

"We're going to get drinks at the nearby bar. You wanna come with?"

"Don't be ridiculous. I have no intention of being the fifth wheel."

"OK then, see you next week!"

"You two aren't going to work tomorrow?"

The girls merely responded with laughter as they waved goodbye and disappeared out the gate. The male sighed and was just about to return to the house for more food when another movement by the gate caught his attention.

A policewoman was walking up the pavement to the house where she paused on the porch, her hand raised to the doorbell. His brown eyes widened appreciatively as he ran his gaze down her body.

The woman was tall, with a stunning hourglass body and red hair that burned like banked fire underneath the yellowish pumpkin lights. Her blue blouse was tight, molding itself to her full chest and slender waist and the tiny skirt that accompanied barely covered half her thighs.

Not that he was complaining. Her fishnet stocking-ed legs were amazing. From this distance he couldn't discern her eye colour but some part of him wished it was brown.

The male found himself standing up and taking a step towards her when Natsu suddenly stumbled backwards into him, almost stomping on his foot. Jellal jumped back in surprise as he watched the still – shirtless pirate tackle the Roman onto the ground.

"Give me back my shirt, flame brain!"

"No way, go look for it yourself."

"Bastard!"

"You looking for a fight, asshole?!"

Jellal poked Elfman in the arm, his finger pointed towards the pair wrestling on the grass. "What's going on?"

The larger male snorted. "Natsu's being un-Manly childish as usual. He hid Gray's shirt and now refuses to give it back."

"Another one who never learns, huh?"

The blunette sighed, the corner of his lips quirking up in amusement as the two battled on the lawn, both refusing to give in. Natsu had drawn his prop sword and was attempting to stab Gray, who in turn swung his hooked hand whenever Natsu came too close.

Jellal gasped when he suddenly remembered the female. He turned around quickly but the porch was now vacant except for a small group standing by the side laughing amongst themselves. None of whom were redheaded and had ridiculously sexy legs.

"Damn it."

"What is it?" Elfman glanced down at him curiously.

"Nothing. Just… there was this babe standing there just now…"

"What's she look like?"

"Uh… Tall, redheaded and really well, hot."

Elfman's blue eyes widened as he stared down at the male. "A redhead?"

"Yeah. What? You know her?"

Elfman shuddered visibly, and Jellal's brow arched. Did the male actually look _scared_?

"Yeah. I know her. I think you're referring to Erza Scarlet."

"Scarlet? Interesting name." The colour of her hair was scarlet. "Wait, isn't that your boss's name?"

"Yeah. Lucy's good friends with her so she's been invited."

Jellal scratched the side of his neck distractedly and he seemed to ponder over something before looking up again.

"Can you introduce me to her?"

Elfman's blue eyes couldn't get any wider. "You want to get to know Erza?!"

"Uh… Yeah…?"

"What's this, what's this? Jellal's interested in Erza?"

Natsu suddenly popped up beside them, grinning widely. Gray was climbing to his feet behind him as he brushed off grass and sand from his bare chest and pants.

Jellal's brows creased. "Does that sound so impossible?"

"No, that's not what we meant." Gray laughed and waved his hand. "It's just that Erza has a rep for a demon at work. None of the guys really dare to stand up to her."

"Is she that bad? Maybe I shouldn't…"

"Don't be stupid! I'll introduce you guys!" Natsu laughed, as he hooked his arm around Jellal's and quite literally, dragged the taller male towards the porch. Stumbling forward, the male tugged his arm free from Natsu's.

"I can walk by myself. You don't have to lead me."

"Yeah yeah. C'mon."

The group of four stepped through the doorway and Jellal was instantly reminded why he had retreated to the lawn in the first place. The music and lights were quickly giving him another headache. Weaving their way through the house, the trio leading him poked their heads into the different rooms.

"Ice face, you see her?"

"Nope. How about you?"

"Nah, she's not in the kitchen. Elfman?"

"Nope. Try the living room. Maybe she's with my sisters."

"Erza… Erza… Erza… Ah! She really is in the living room. Good job, Elfman."

"A Man always finds what he is looking for."

"And I see someone else too." The pink haired Roman smirked and sped up.

Gray, Elfman and Jellal stood by the hallway entrance to the living room as their friend walked up to his fiancée and pulled her up for a passionate kiss. Elfman nudged the half naked pirate.

"Juvia's there too. You aren't going to say hi?"

"Without my shirt? Are you crazy? She'd jump me in front of everybody." Gray replied sarcastically.

Jellal stood beside them, as he watched the redhead, Erza, sitting with her friends. She laughed when the blunette mimicked a gagging action and her face crinkled up in humour.

God, she was cute.

And leaving. Natsu's fiancée was about to pull her away when Natsu suddenly grabbed her arm. The male smirked at the blonde and pointed towards the general direction of the guys.

"You're looking to match Erza up, right? I have someone right here."

* * *

Gaaah! I've been planning to start on this two/three shot since forever! Finally…

Don't forget to drop your love in the box below!

Faie.


	2. Kiss 2

Yes. This chapter took forever. Yes. It was because of my other fics. Yes, it was also kind of due to all the Fiyeraba fics I've been indulging in lately (hohoho)

Enjoy this very month-inappropriate Halloween story! Quite a bit of awkwardness ahead, since Erza's romance deprived and thus, shy.

Faie.

* * *

Kiss 2

"You're looking to match Erza up, right? I have someone right here."

Jellal Fernandez stumbled forward and nearly tripped on a small pile of empty beer bottles when his pink haired friend suddenly grabbed him around the arm and pulled him roughly forward.

"This is my frat pal Jellal. He thinks," Natsu affected a cheeky grin. "Erza is hot and would like to get to know her better. Like, _very_ much better."

"Wait- I didn't… I didn't say she was hot!"

"Yes, you did." Elfman piped out unhelpfully, only to have a glare shot at him from under unruly blue bangs. The werewolf folded his arms. "Be a Man and admit it."

Natsu rolled his eyes. "Fine. You said she was _smoking_ hot_._"

Meanwhile, Lucy snickered behind her palm and nudged the older Strauss sister. "I told you the mad doctors here tonight were really hot."

"Maybe he'd feel better if he took off his coat?" Mirajane gave a demure giggle that stood in sharp contrast against her bold words.

"Mira-nee!" Lisanna chided, a loud hiccup punctuating her words. "I'm _disappointed_ in you."

"Li-Lisanna?"

The silver haired woman with the pixie cut got up from the couch, and stroked down the silky material of her reddish black dress. She pointed an admonishing finger at her older sister, swaying slightly where she stood. "_Just_ his coat? You're obviously – hiccup – not drunk enough. I'm going to get… you…" The younger Strauss sister disappeared behind the corridor, her sentence trailing off into a mildly drunken slur. Instantly, her brother was after her, sighing in exasperation.

"So, babe. Where's Erza?" Natsu asked, glancing around.

Lucy's eyes widened in confusion. "What do you mean? She's ri-"

"No, she's not." The pink haired Marc Antony replied blandly, watching in amusement as realization slowly dawned on his fiancée's face and she lifted a gauze – covered arm to smack the side of her head. "That woman..."

"Looks like Officer Kiss has fled the scene." Juvia chortled in an un-ladylike manner, her cocktail glass tipping over slightly as liquid danced along the lipstick marked glass rim without spilling. "Erza – san mu-" All of a sudden, the blunette's lips froze, her eyes widening into saucers when she finally noticed the half naked man trying to hide himself behind Natsu and Jellal. But with Elfman no longer blocking him from view, it was all too easy to recognize the sculpted shoulders of her dark haired pirate.

Sans his shirt.

Juvia shoved her Sex on the Beach into Lucy's surprised hand as she made her way towards the men, her slow shuffle almost zombie like.

Behind his friends, Gray sweat dropped when he noticed his girlfriend getting ever closer, and he patted Jellal's shoulder hurriedly. "I-I think I just saw my shirt. GoodluckwithErza!Bye!"

"Huh?"

Jellal turned to see only a dotted outline of where his friend had been standing barely a second ago. When there was a small tap on his arm, he turned back to see Juvia extending her hand out to him.

"It was nice meeting you, Jellal – san, but would you please move aside now? There's something I have to do."

The intense glare in her eyes was more persuasive than her polite words. The mad scientist shook the siren's hand hurriedly and stepped away from her as though he was about to be stung. By one particularly shimmery blue bee…– fish? No wait…

"Ara~ Gray's in trouble~" Mirajane singsong-ed from where she was now slouching over on the couch, her head lolling lazily to one side as she twirled the stem of her empty cocktail glass between her fingers.

"Never mind that freaking porn star. We need to find Erza! It's time for an Erza hunt!" Natsu retorted, returning his attention to his blue haired friend. His fiancée nodded vehemently and latched onto the arms of the two males as she slid in between them. "Mira! You com- never mind."

The silver haired Stepsister was busy admiring the small maraschino sitting in the glimmering body of the wet glass with the attention one would expect to be lavished on an abstract painting. Sighing, the three stalked off down the corridor on a mission to find the elusive woman, with the Queen of the Nile muttering very un-Queen-like curses under her breath about how a certain policewoman had better not had run home.

A full minute after they had departed, Mirajane's blue eyes lifted to find herself now devoid of the company of friends. "Guys? Where ar- woaah!"

The beauty gasped when her drunk arm suddenly buckled under her weight, and the entire length of her torso dropped heavily sideways. Mirajane Strauss gave an indelicate "Oof!" when her shoulder hit a really, really hard surface.

Rubbing the back of her hand against her suddenly starry eyes, her other arm shot up to grab at the wooden rack on Lucy's couch-side coffee table… only to have her fingers bump into a bristled, yet warm surface. Her fingers froze for a moment, as she wondered how on Earthland a magazine rack could feel so soft… and bristled and… and was that someone's _breath_ she felt on her hand?

Mirajane's body tensed as she slowly shifted her other hand from her eyes, and those very same aquamarine eyes now widened in horror as she took in the chiseled, downturned face of a large male, his narrow orange eyes boring curiously into her. The hints of a blush dusted her pale cheeks when she realized that her fingers were still grazing the lower lip of the Greek.

His lips were slightly chapped, she noticed distractedly, as she watched him watch her. Maybe she could introduce him to a product from her cosmetic store? Mirajane was sure that she could find som-

No wait… THIS WASN'T THE FREAKING RIGHT TIME TO DO SALES!

The now not-so-drunk Mirajane flustered and gasped as she shot up from where she had been plastered across, sadly, not an empty couch space, but a strange man's lap.

Mirajane righted herself hurriedly, her hands shooting up in defense, ready to plead innocent under influence of (deliberate) intoxication. "S-sorr…" Her voice slowly trailed off, leaving a slightly gaping mouth.

"Hmm…?"

The large male had turned around to face her, a surprised quirk to his lips as he regarded the pretty stranger who had nearly kneed him in the crotch of his gold trimmed toga. Piercing orange eyes stared back into wide, shimmering aquamarines lined with gothic black mascara, and a single eyebrow arched above a long, jagged scar that cut down the side of the man's chiseled face.

"It's ok."

* * *

The policewoman was currently hiding out in what was probably the only empty room in the large two storey house – the personal bedroom of the host and hostess. While Erza hadn't wanted to intrude on the private space of her friend and her fiancé, every other room had been taken up, either by drunken adults playing kinky drinking games, or by other drunken adults just playing kinky… games.

The redhead had blushed when she had unsuspectingly opened the door to a guest bedroom, only to be mooned by a bottom naked werewolf with his back to her. Even at that distance, she had heard the masculine growl reverberate from deep within his throat.

She had blushed further when she noticed the small gloved hands clasping onto the werewolf's bare butt cheeks.

Erza gave her most furious blush yet, with steam practically pouring from her ears, when the small head of an angel popped up from behind the werewolf's waist.

That angel had blue hair.

Oh crap. Oh crap crap fuckity _crap_!

"SORRY!"

The redhead slammed the door shut, a hand clutching her heaving chest as she desperately tried to banish the memory of her PR Manager's surprised face when Erza had burst in on her fe-fe-fell-…

WHY THE HELL WASN'T THAT DOOR LOCKED?!

After that, she had simply skipped the whole 'looking for a suitable room' process to going straight to the one place she knew would be safe. So here she was, safely ensconced in the large lemon themed bedroom, with the edges of its walls painted with licks of fire. shooting across the lengths of the walls just above the carpet. The stretch of flames stretched along the perimeter of the room, dancing upward about ten centimeters before dissolving into soft yellow.

How her reckless, hot-headed employee had managed to convince his level-headed fiancée to have fire lining the edges of their bedroom walls was beyond Erza's comprehension.

"Ah wells. Not my problem."

The policewoman sat down tiredly on the edge of the soft, comfy bed, its plush mattress instantly sinking around her slim thighs. "Damn, this feels good." She groaned, and after a moment's hesitation, toppled backwards till she was lying on the mattress, her legs dangling over the edge.

Erza Scarlet couldn't remember the last time she had slept on a bed this nice. In fact, she couldn't remember the last time she had even slept on a bed.

Between her busy schedule, her workaholic nature, and the unjustified paranoia of her employees messing _something_ up without her constant supervision, Erza had found herself furnishing her office with a closet of clean, pressed business suits. Her private bathroom was stocked with basic hygiene necessities. Sitting on her desk was a stack of blueprints for the installation of a shower in the bathroom.

Tonight seemed like a good night to look through those.

In fact, _now_ seemed like a very good time.

"Yosh."

Erza bounced upwards on the bed and headed for the door, only to gasp when it suddenly swung open, missing her head by a few centimeters. A pink haired Roman was grinning widely at her, his fiancée standing beside him looking rather annoyed.

"ERZA!"

"N-N-Natsu?"

"Mou… why'd you run off?" Lucy groaned as she pushed past her man to chide her friend. "We were looking for you everywhere."

"H-how'd you get in? The door was locked!"

"You do realize this is my house right? There's no door I can't enter."

"Lucy opted for the boring way of using the key… killjoy."

"You are _not_ splintering another door."

"But I wanted to do 'this is Sparta!' thing. It's cool!"

"_No_. You already broke the guest room door the other day."

"That was your fault." Natsu mumbled.

"You're the one who suggested naked Saturdays." Lucy hmph-ed and crossed her arms.

"W-what?"

"And then you hid from me."

"N-n-n-"

"Cause I didn't expect you to break down the door!"

"Guys…"

"You really thought that I wouldn't break down the door after you sauntered past me like that?!"

"N-n-na-nak-"

"Gah! You're an idiot! Why did I even agree to marry you? You, and your stupid naked days, and your painted fire…"

"What's wrong with the fire?"

"N-na-nak… days?"

"You always do the whole 'I'm all fired up' thing whenever you see them! It's annoying!"

Lucy gasped when the tall Roman suddenly reached out and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her flush against him. Even beneath her shimmery golden cheeks, the blush on her face was evident when he leaned in close and whispered into her ear.

"Don't lie through your teeth. You _love_ it when I'm all fired up. _Especially_ on naked Saturdays."

"Sh-shut up!"

"You're blushing, Luce. God, you're cute."

"Uh… guys?"Jellal tapped the shoulder of his friend before they could start attempting to suck each other's faces off.

"What? Oh… right."

His fiancée caught on a little slower, but when she did, Lucy pushed the male away and grabbed his arm, pulling him out of the room.

"Hurry up, dummy!"

"Who're you c-" Natsu's voice was cut off by the slam of the door.

The mad scientist turned back around, sighing when he saw the policewoman sitting on the bed, a furious blush on her face as she continued to mumble under her breath something that sounded like "n-n-n-n-n-n-".

Erza nearly jumped when her company sat down next to her, the bed sinking around his weight.

"Hey, you ok?"

"W-wh-wh-wh-why wouldn't I-I-I-I be? I'm f-f-fine."

He chuckled sheepishly. "You don't have to be so tense. I'm not going to try anything funny."

"Y-you're not?"

His eyes widened behind his glasses. "You want me to?"

Erza's head snapped back to the floor, her fingers twiddling. "N-no… it's just that… isn't that what a male and female do when they're alone in a bedroom?"

"Huh?"

He could hardly understand her next sentence, for her lips quivered so badly from embarrassment.

"I m-m-m-mean…the w-w-were-werewo- and-and-and b…b-b-blu-"

"Werewolf? Oh. You mean Gajeel? The one with the long black hair?"

"I… don't know his name, but I saw my friend L-L-L-" Erza's cheeks turned red again, stem practically pouring from her ears when she remembered what she caught her friend doing.

Thankfully, her company seemed to understand where she was going with her words… or _trying_ to go.

"That's his girlfriend."

"What? Oh…"

Jellal chuckled, slightly amused at this redhead's naïveté. "Random strangers don't do that with one another… oh, wait. Never mind. But I'm not going to force you to do something you don't want to. So you can relax."

"Then what do you want?"

Now that she was feeling safer, Erza's confidence was starting to return, and she turned to stare at the man straight on.

"To get to know you." He smiled warmly. "I didn't get to introduce myself earlier. My name is Jellal Fernandez."

"Erza Scarlet." She shook his hand firmly.

"Is your last name a coincidence?"

"Sorry?"

"I mean… your hair…"

"Oh right. Yes, it's a coincidence… I inherited my hair colour from a grandparent."

"It's beautiful."

"Wh-what? Oh. Uh… thanks."

"I mean it."

Erza's eyes widened slightly when he reached an arm up to swipe away the lock that was hanging in front of her eyes. Jellal couldn't help it; her hair had been beckoning his touch the entire evening. During their search for the elusive redhead, he had more than once caught sight of long red locks… only to be sadly disappointed when it turned out to be nothing but commercial wigs that paled in comparison to this woman's natural shade.

"It's… beautiful. The scarlet."

"Thank you."

Jellal dropped his arm when he noticed the redhead had her eyes downturned. "S-sorry."

"It's fine."

Silence dropped for a moment before Jellal prompted again. "So, you're Natsu's boss?"

"Y-yeah. I'm acting CEO, but just until our real boss gets better."

"He's in convalescence?"

"Yes."

Silence fell again, and the redhead found herself clutching onto the end of her short skirt, creasing the folds between her fingers.

"S-say, Jellal. Where did you get your costume from?"

"Huh? I put it together at work, since I didn't have time to plan anything else."

"You're a doctor?"

"Nope. It's actually rather unimaginative, since I literally came as myself."

"You're really a scientist?"

He nodded, and pointed towards the red coloured patches on the stained lab coat. "That's-"

"Blood."

"Nope." He chuckled. "Sorry to disappoint you. It's cranberry juice. I basically put this getup together in less than 10 minutes. How about you?"

"I got the idea from a TV show. The woman, the kissogram, was a redhead too. So I decided, what the hell?"

"That's cool."

"I suppose… I didn't have time to go source for one either…"

"I see."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…-"

The door suddenly slammed open, startling the pair.

"Guys! We're back!"

"What the h-"

"And we brought drinks and games!"

Natsu strode proudly into the room, holding two six-packs and a cardboard box under his arm. "I swear this game is good." He smirked and plopped down onto one side of the bed. Jellal instantly reached for a beer, chugging it down so fast that he drew the curious eye of his friend.

Lucy moved to drag the redhead into the adjoining toilet, locking the door behind them.

"Lucy, what's goi-"

"You call that flirting, Erza? That was weak!"

"Wait… what? You guys were spying on us?!"

"And I'm so glad we were. Erza, tell me. Is Jellal hot?"

The redhead sputtered. "W-what? I don't-"

"Yes or no, Erza."

"N-"

"Hmm? What was that?"

Erza sighed. "I mean, yes. He is… rather… very good-looking."

"Then what are you waiting for? Jump him!"

"Excuse me?"

"Oh don't give me that, missy. Your costume gives you the perfect excuse."

"B-"

Lucy sighed and folded her arms. "But… you're too scared. And that is where we come in, with the game and the booze."

"Do I-"

"No you don't. You came to get laid, Erza. And as a friend, I shall make sure you do. Sa sa, let's go back out now. I'm sure the guys are done setting up the board."

Without waiting for her friend's reply or consent, the blonde pressed her hands into Erza's back and shoved her back out into the bedroom.

"Guys, we have returned!" Lucy gave her fiancé a pointed look. "You had better not have stolen my favourite token again."

"Don't worry." The Roman chuckled. "You're still the thong. I went with the banana of steel. Jellal chose the… what'd you take?"

The scientist's lips quirked up as he lifted a small thumb-sized plastic token. "The whip."

Lucy bent down to grab the remaining items in her hand. "Right. Which leaves the… pouty lips, the handcuffs, the leather underwear and the...ooohhh!"

At her friend's reddening cheeks, the blonde smirked evilly, plucked the fourth item from her palm, and thrust it into Erza's hand. "I suggest you go with this."

Erza opened her fist, and she chewed nervously on her lower lip as she stared at the small, inconsequential object in her hand. Lucy winked at her as she sat down on the bed opposite her fiancé.

"Now get down here, Erz, and let's play!"

* * *

I've never played a sex game before, so feel free to throw sexy ideas out that I can use for the actual game session. Also, I don't have a fixed idea on what to choose for Erza's token, so get creative in your reviews people!

Faie. Out.


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